Art Museums and Stratigically Placed Couches
by litfan1824
Summary: Have you ever had sex in an art museum? no. Do you want to? A oneshot about how to turn an ordinary outing into a dirty one. Litfluff, enjoy! rating is a precaution.


A little oneshot about how Saturday trips to an art museum can turn dirty ;

Lit, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own the dvds and that's it

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"What do you think of that one?" I whisper in her ear. She tilts her head to the left, and squints at it. I chuckle. "Trust me; I don't think it's meant to be abstract." She gives me a semi-glare before lightly giving me a shove with her elbow.

"I know, but sometimes if you look at it in a different perspective, it changes the piece entirely," she explains to me in a 'duh' tone. I roll my eyes, and entwine our fingers as we move to the next piece. It's actually kind of strange in my opinion, I try her technique, and to my surprise I end up seeing something.

"Wanna know what I think of this one?" I ask close to her ear. I smirk when she looks at me with slight annoyance.

"What could you possibly see that's sensible in this painting?" She puts her hands on her hips and gives me a slight smile as if she's challenging me to say something intelligent.

"It kinda reminds me of you when you run," I say it softly so that she's the only one who hears me. Her eyes are wide, and she's biting her lip, trying to contain a smile.

"That is not funny! Besides, that looks nothing like me; I run like a cross country runner." Her head is up high, and her arrogance is in full swing.

"Excuse me, but the only way you could possibly resemble a cross country runner is if you dressed like one, trust me." She gives me a playful bump, and we move on to a painting with a distorted figure in the middle of a road with a horrified expression.

"Ha! I know what this one resembles," she exclaims as she pulls at my shirt. I cross my arms.

"Oh yea? Let me guess, it has something to do with me?" I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Actually, yes. The expression resembles the one you make when I pinch your ass." She gets closer to my ear as she finishes, and when I look at her with a surprised look on my face, she simply takes my hand, and we move on.

"Huh, didn't know you'd be the one to bring out the big guns…or should I say dirty guns?" She blushes a bit before turning her attention to the next painting. She's about to say something when I plant a chaste kiss on her lips.

"What was that for?" she questions.

"Well, this one is my turn," I say with a wink. I take a minute to take it in; it's a landscape with a woman screaming as a bear comes out of the woods. I have the perfect comparison. I smirk and she sees.

"What are you smiling for?" she asks. I simply shake my head before pulling her close so I can whisper in her ear.

"This one reminds me of how you look when you orgasm." I'm real quiet, but she lets out a silent shriek.

"Jess! That was way dirtier then mine!" She's blushing like crazy and I love it. "And plus, I don't look like a woman being attacked by a bear when we have sex!" She says this in a very hushed tone, but it's still cute how her cheeks are flaming red.

"How would you know? I'm the only one who sees."

"Ugh, come on; let's go to the next one. It's my turn now." I let her pull me to a large sculpture of a sleeping figure. It's not quite human, but it's not an animal. I honestly don't know what the hell it is. She has a smug look on her face, and I turn to her waiting for what she has in store for me.

"So, see anything good in …this?" She nods at my question before leaning up to my ear.

"This reminds me of how tired you are after I'm done having my way with you." She pulls my hips towards hers, and shifts so they lock for a spilt second before pulling away. It takes all the strength I have to restrain a moan. I have to remember that there are other people here trying to enjoy the art in here.

"That was not funny," I hiss in her ear after I compose my self. She just giggles and leads me to the next work of art. It only takes me a minute to decipher the next one.

"Should I be scared?" she says to me when she sees how wide my smile has gotten. I close the distance by placing my hands on her hips, and pulling her flush against me.

"This one resembles how incredibly hot you look right after sex," I murmur while nibbling at her neck, reaching all the spots that drive her completely insane. She's sighing, and grabbing at my jacket when I suddenly pull back. She stumbles at the loss of contact, and pouts at me,

"That wasn't very nice," she manages to spit out. I take note of the fact that she's slightly flustered, and her breathing is uneven. My pants are slightly uncomfortable at the thought. Her eyes are still wild as she approaches me and lightly places her arms around my neck.

"Have you ever had sex in an art museum?" she whispers in my ear. I can hardly believe what I'm hearing when I feel her bite my ear lightly.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'd know if I did." I can't even think straight, and she's not making it any easier by running her hands along the hem of my shirt. Her eyes are glossy, and she has a playful look.

"Do you wanna have sex in an art museum?" now I know she's crazy.

"Rory, it's not that I don't want to have sex with you, believe me; but where the hell would we go in this place?" She bites her lip, no doubt to ponder her crazy idea. She looks around, and her eyes land on a studio door where I'm sure there are people painting and sculpting or whatever.

"That room; now." She says as she pulls me by my shirt sleeve. My mind is running at a million miles a second as my horny girlfriend pulls me through an art museum on a Saturday afternoon. I gotta say, I'm loving every moment of it.

We reach the door, and she jiggles the handle, giving a little salute when it opens. She takes one look around, and her eyes settle on a large, strategically placed, red couch with an easel in front of it. She leads me over, and my common sense finally kicks in.

"Rory, we cannot have sex in an art studio. What if someone comes in?" She smiles at me before planting a passionate kiss on my lips that leaves me wanting more when she pulls away.

"Well then, I guess they'll get quite a show." And I'm gone. No more words are said as she starts to take my clothes off. I lead her to the couch, and slowly lower her down so I'm on top. She's already moaning my name, and it's giving me a buzz. I take off her shirt, and her bra in a matter of seconds. As soon as all our clothes are off, the last bit of worry seeps out of me.

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"I can't believe I had sex with you in an art museum," she says almost an hour later as we walk back out in to the main show room, trying our best to appear normal.

"Well, I'm sorry you couldn't wait to get home to have your way with me." I'm cocky, and it shows.

"I can't believe we just did that, I mean don't you feel pumped?" she's excited for some reason, and I just shrug at her.

"You mean like you wanna have sex in other unconventional places…maybe a zoo, or a circus?" she elbows me in the side.

"Stop mocking me, I'm pretty sure that you enjoyed your self in there just as much as I did." She has me there.

"Your right, but I definitely think we need to experiment on other places, maybe even a bookstore?" I see her light up, and I burst out laughing.

"Maybe next Saturday," she whispers while giving me a wink. I just shake my head, and interlock our fingers as she leads us to the next painting. I notice that it's ironically a sexual depiction of two figures in a park. I lean close to her ear.

"What do you think of this one?"

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Finished! It's a bit strange, but hey who doesn't want sex in a museum right?

Review please,

Litfan1824


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